<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1291948532535771564</id><updated>2011-04-21T21:01:05.761-04:00</updated><title type='text'>The Last Stupid Church Book You'll Ever Read</title><subtitle type='html'>Finding a Christ-centered Life after Life-centered Christianity</subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://laststupidchurchbook.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1291948532535771564/posts/default?max-results=100'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://laststupidchurchbook.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><author><name>Last Stupid Church Book</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01199332772505243829</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>1</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>100</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1291948532535771564.post-6213536791236704447</id><published>2007-08-12T17:13:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2007-08-13T17:50:21.479-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Christian Living</title><content type='html'>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"&gt;Here is the first scenario. It is a Wednesday evening. Denominations are no matter. The pews are intricately shaped oak topped by a comfortable red cushion of sorts. The windows have that tint that makes you know you are in a church. The carpet is new, very clean. From the ceilings hang globe lights, and a couple of fans are spinning in case the preacher gets rolling. Double doors lead into the sanctuary where, if you were to walk down the aisle formed by the pews you would find yourself standing in front of an altar and the pulpit. Then as you slowly raise your head, you see the chairs that are for the choir and behind them, the baptistery. Finally, as you look to the ceiling, you see a large, probably life-sized, wooden cross hanging from a white wall. A lone piano or maybe an organ rings throughout the congregation as the men sing their part of the hymn and the women lightly harmonize the chorus as each verse ends. A hand is lifted as a tear rolls down the song leader’s cheek. It is time for prayer and fellowship around the altar. A lady in the back stands and asks the believers to pray for her husband, that he may be saved. Together, the congregation kneels and prays for the requests. Everyone then raises and returns to their seats. After the next hymn, an older fellow stands up and tells the congregation how the Lord has been so good to him this week. Shortly after, a soft instrumental is played while ushers prepare and pray for the offering ceremony. At times, a guest singer or music group comes and plays several selections for the congregation.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"&gt;You grew up with the people around you. They are the kids you have attended school with, their parents, or your own grandparents, siblings, or children. You have went places with them and had dinner with them. They still sit in the same places. Some are older members, some have left and returned, some are new faces who just moved from another state. A young couple brings their child and he whimpers from time to time throughout the service.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"&gt;As the preacher comes, dressed in a suit and tie, he announces the scripture so that all can be looking through their Bibles to find the verses. When he reaches the pulpit, there is some cliché about the weather or the countenance of the crowd, and then he asks that all bow their head for a word of prayer. After the Amen, the verses are read as the preacher removes his suit jacket and loosens his collar. Then it begins, “I’ve been saved for 31 years and it just keeps getting better and better!” or, “You want to know my only regret? Why did I wait till I was 15 years old to get saved?” as if it is all by our own will and desire. This is normally followed by a fundamental assortment of steps. Primarily, there is some background on the “character” contained in the scripture. The next step deals with relating the situation to an age of computers and evil. There is customarily a statement or two about the devil devouring our youth or about money, the root of evil. The closing illustrations deal with how we need to get back to the way it used to be.&lt;br /&gt;And finally, around 8:15, 8:30 there is the infamous altar call where you, too, can be saved:&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"&gt;With every head bowed, every eye closed, (in case something magical happens?) no one is going to call you out or anything, if you feel that you want to be saved, could you just raise your hand? It’s that easy (Pause) okay, there’s one, bless you, do we have another? (Pause) Won’t you come? (Pause) Well, if the song leader and pianist will come, we’ll have a song in closing.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"&gt;Hopefully the one who raised his hand will work out his salvation and live out the calling for fellowship that Jesus initiated. For a couple reasons, there is usually one more song. This is because the person has not yet come to the altar and they need another chance, or because someone has come, been prayed with, and now we can all rejoice with our new brother or sister. After one more closing prayer, or the occasional circle prayer, the preacher proceeds to the rear of the church, through the double door, and positions himself in the foyer with a couple of the elders. All who walk by can say their hellos and shake hands as they proceed down the stairs and out into the world.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1291948532535771564-6213536791236704447?l=laststupidchurchbook.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1291948532535771564/posts/default/6213536791236704447'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1291948532535771564/posts/default/6213536791236704447'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://laststupidchurchbook.blogspot.com/2007/08/everything-new-under-sun.html' title='Christian Living'/><author><name>Last Stupid Church Book</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01199332772505243829</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author></entry></feed>
